Monday, March 17, 2008

Tu Dhoop Hai

It has been over two weeks now since I typed anything here. I typed up a lot of words in my mind while I drive back home from work - every day. Those words did not see light. No one saw me fight the tears while I was driving.

It has been quite a difficult time for my family. When things are this abnormal, you wonder what to write - it has been a sea of emotions in our minds, eyes filled with tears and heart trembling with prayers. We are watching our brother (my younger brother-in-law) inside an ICU room in Kuwait lying unconscious for over 2 weeks now.

It was touching to see all those families in the church pray for him. Many many offered us help - financial and any other. All are concerned about his health. His close friends are in touch with me now. We share the same concerns and prayers.

I am now alone with both the boys. It is quite challenging and I should confess that I was all excited about tackling it with perfection. Taking Nikhil to all activities as usual, feeding them good food at the right time, playing with them, managing chores I hate to do.
I think God is keeping us safe and cozy inside the walls of our home.

While the kids and me listen to the songs from Taare Zameen Par in the basement, we forget all the worries and sink into music. Kids dance for the Bum Bum Bole and run around. Then I request for my favorite song to be played. They do agree and they put 'Kholo Kholo'.
These words touched me a lot with Ishaan Awasthi, the child character, in my mind before. Now I see our brother in the hospital and my heart goes out to him.

"Tu Dhoop Hai Cham Se Nikal
Tu Hai Nadi O Bekhabar
Beh Chal Kahin Ud Chal Kahin
Dil Khush Jaahan Teri To Manzil hai Waheen"

You are sunshine. Shine out openly. Dont be hidden in the bed.
You are the river. Flow freely. Fly freely. Open your eyes and talk.
Where your heart will be happy, reach out to that destination. Whatever you want, we will get it to you. We want you back and we want your smile back.

Here is a link to the song.


You guys think I have gone crazy! Well, my 6 year old son, saw me with tears in my eyes - Amma, why are you crying? And he confessed that he too did that once - crying while watching a movie. I was very happy to hear that. I said - that is how you enjoy the movie and there is no need to be ashamed of that!

Are you like me too? When you watch watch/hear a song, you relate to something that pertains to your life? I am sure I am not the only one.

12 comments:

Laksh said...

Hope your BIL gets better real soon. I know the feeling. Its too hard to cope.

Reg crying at the movies or with things that touch my core. I do it only too often.

anamika said...

@laksh - thanks. I guessed that about you.

A-kay said...

My prayers are with him and your family - I hope he gets better soon.

I am not someone that cries or for that matter, gets emotional very easily - so no, I don't cry that often. But of late, I have been seeing a change - I wonder if age makes a difference...

Anya Padyam said...

Our prayers are always with you and B and your families... I am sure everything will be fine! Our prayers for a speedy recovery!

Noby M. Joseph said...

Sorry to read this news Sujatha. I was checking whether you have any updates in your blog and was upset reading this. I know only Terry . Is that him ?. Do not worry. Things will be alright. Being strong will help. Pray how much ever you can. Best of luck.

I also started writing a blog: http://nobym.blogspot.com/ . Read it when you have time.

Regarding tears, I always use to be in tears. I guess life has made me stronger now. Movie I cried most was Aaakashadooth.

anamika said...

@akay - hmm, I know age can make us more sentimental.

@just someone - thanks a lot.

@noby - younger bro Willy is in hospital. Elder bro Terry de veettilanu ellarum ippo..
Will check out your page for sure. Keep coming..nice to have a classmate around.

Noby M. Joseph said...

Willy. Ah, I had Willy in my thoughts when speaking about Terry. Do not worry. He will be alright. Keep remembering him in your prayers. This is what I did when my father was in ICU after a stroke. Sit in front of ICU and pray. He did not have any change for 30 days and we took him home . Then slowly he became alright.

So, be strong...I saw Willy just once at their home. Can still remember that scene.

Do not worry. He will be alright!.

SUBRA said...

Suji, I am also praying - and all these prayers will bring Willy around, I sincerely hope.

When he comes back, we should welcome him with open arms and take care of him so that he will be back to normal.

UL said...

I am so sorry to hear this news. It must be so difficult for you to contain the worry, so your kids wont be sad and worried as well. Esp. since they're little. I am not sure how you manage the two of them just by yourself, be strong, my prayers are with your family. Hope he feels better soon. Take care, UL

anamika said...

@UL - thanks a lot. Actually with the kids and the job, I am pretty busy and occupied. Taking care of their needs keeps me away from the worry mode a lot.

Noby M. Joseph said...

How is Willy doing ?. Is he doing ok ?

Bewildered said...

The songs lyrics are magical and stirs up a lot of emotions. I hope that the little bit of catharsis that you got out of that song at that particular trying time helped. Its really amazing how art helps sometimes with myriad feelings that may want to make its way out out one's heart.