The Year That Was

So why was I procrastinating so much from writing? Finally I hope these thoughts will see day light.

The Year That Was - I am talking about the year I decided to quit my job and be home. When

I quit the job, I thought I will be home for 3 months. How that went to a whole year (and a couple of months) is a story.

Once I put Nithin into the half day Montessori, my life revolved around that schedule.

Memories:

• Early morning walks in the Mall when no shops have been open yet. I would buy coffee and wait around to return something in a shop. Somedays I was to early in the Mall after dropping him that I had to sit in the car, kill time with iPhone until it opened.
• Times when I always early for everything including the one time I was 1 hour early for a doctor appointment
• Times when the radio station talks about traffic in the Turn Pike, I switched it off because I don;t bother about it anymore.
• Times when the people I interacted most were automatically non-working moms.
• Afternoons sitting on the king size bed with Nithin and reading to him
• Evenings when I would look forward to work with Nikhil on Kumon or something - so I feel like we accomplished something together!
• Days when I had the enthusiasm to cook and days when I hated it so much that I escaped it
• Sundays when I felt and enjoyed the relief of not being compelled to go to work the next day
• Days when my Google Calendar consisted of nothing other than kids' birthday parties

In an effort not to break the rhythm of Nithin's half day school, I did not feel like looking for a job. B had a 1 year timeframe in mind after which I should start looking for a job. Summer went by like a breeze with my parents' visit and with kids out of school.

September began with the worry of how Nithin will adjust to his schools - he was to continue the AM in his montessori and the PM in public school. I had worried about this all year, but other than the the first day's crying, he adjusted beautifully. I started getting bored at home - so automatically I started job-hunting - as per plan.

The next couple of months I went through the frustrations of

a job-hunter. I was back in the same state that I was after my layoff (2 years back). Trying to market my skills - except that this time I was looking for new role completely. I did not want to commute too far and did not want to travel for my work either These really narrowed down the options I had.

After some weeks of hope and despair alternating, I should say Thank God for that phone call.

Ek Pal Mein Zindagi Badal Gaya...

I heard the golden words - We want to make you an offer. My old work place. The product in which I had worked for 5 years before. A chance to start off officially as a product analyst. B will be my colleague once again. Commute = 5 min.

December went by knowing that I have a work place destined for the next year. Parties and holiday gatherings. Dressing up. Apprehensions and tension as usual about the future. How will it be?

More later on how life has changed after joining work.

The Week That Was

Monday started off with preparing mango pie to be taken to Nithin's school for the Diwali celebrations at the Montessori.

Tuesday was the Diwali party. All the Indian moms contributed to a couple of hours of Diwali joy with music, food and crafts from India. It was a beautiful sight to see all the kids dance to Bhangra and Bollywood Music. We indulged in eating the goodies and savories made by other moms.

The week day evenings were busier than usual for the past few weeks due to practices for the upcoming Diwali Party for our community. Nithin was going to the Diwali dance with his age kids. I was happy that he was not clinging to me like last years' practices. I could just drop him off and pick him up and he went into the routine without issues. He is growing up fast and he is already 6!

Nikhil also was going to ramlila practices. B was playing guitar in the band that practiced songs for the Diwali party. I sang two songs - so music practice meant we four would go to the venue and the kids would play DS - but they were being good boys letting us sing. In fact, they also would sing our songs when we are back home.

Wednesday I had lunch with two of my fellow friends/moms. As usual, we chatted a lot about us and kids and this time we had lunch at the Thai restaurant near by. Fun times.

Friday was the arrival of B's parents. Their flight got delayed and it took them much longer in the travel than usual. They all got home at 1pm in the night.

During the day was the Halloween parade at the school which I missed at the last minute. I had mehndi applied in my hands by my beautician neighbor and that made me handicapped totally. I did not factor in the time required to get the mehndi dry, so I figured B has to go to the Halloween parade! It was a torture because I could not even make a phone call or pick up a call using my iPhone. I had gloves on my dried mehndi, so my swipe action would never work. Finally I had to use the thumb of my foot to swipe it ON and receive a call. Next time, I swear I will get it done towards the night, so I can sleep without feeling handicapped (pun intended!)

Anyway, mehndi was done and it looked colorful!

As I wait with bated breath for the much awaited Diwali Party in Saturday evening, Saturday morning begins with snow. All of a sudden, the weather turned unbearably cold. We had different engagements throughout the day and B and I were in the car on and off over the snowy roads. We did get through the commitments, went to party hall and set up music instruments and mic etc and came back home to get ready for the party.

The attire was decided already this time. B had bought me a saree just for this party from his India trip. I had also got the blouse stiched by an Indian lady. I discovered her through a friend and thank God, she had the bandwidth to stich my blouse in this festive season. So I was super thrilled about getting a blouse stiched in the US for the first time. With B's mom's help, I wore the saree, jewelry and the rest of the boys wore jubba.

The evening went by smoothly with our music performances. The disturbances of the mic were annoying. It was hard as usual to get the talking crowd to pay attention and keep quiet. But I was happy with our performance. I have to mention here that I could sing one of my all time favorite songs - I had been suggesting this song from before but the time time came now. It is 'Janeman Janeman tere Do nayan'.. from Chhoti Si Baat. I love Amol Palekar's innocence in this movie. So being able to sing my favorite song made the day for me!

Also I sang a duet with B - 'Sham' from 'Aisha'. Of course the whole orchestra gang did a great job and we all enjoyed the practices and the performance. The public review was encouraging as well.

Sunday was marked with the halloween parade within neighborhood. We lost power for the whole day almost. Heating up food in the stove without microwave is a pain. Thank God it came back toward evening and life soon became normal.

Monday evening was trick or treating. So finally it feels like we can breathe. That is the story of how eventful and happening last week was.

Zumba

It was a pleasure attending our favorite Zumba class once again last evening.

Some of my friends were pretty regular at a point months ago in attending this class. That is how I started getting hooked to this one. The instructor is very good and she plays vibrant lovely music. Also, my experience says that if you are regular, even somebody like me (!) can pick up dance steps. The class gets filled up so much that if you need a decent spot, you have to arrive early. Decent means that you can get a good view of the instructor to copy her moves - or you are right behind one of those good dancers so you an refer to them when in doubt - and also there is enough room around you so that you don't risk stepping on somebody.

When each song ends and the next song begins, it is a pleasure to realize it is a song that you know and you have danced to in a previous class. She does bring in latest hit songs and introduces many new ones. It takes a while to get used to them and from then on, I am happy to hear them being played since I can manage the steps. She also brings in some Bollywood songs. I was super thrilled to hear this catchy song as a Cool Down song. I would have almost been dancing instead of doing stretches yesterday when I heard this particular one. Since I am not so up to date with new songs, it took some googling to locate this one.

Pee Loon from Once Upon A Time in Mumbai.

Anyway, this post is just to proclaim that ZUMBA is fun and if you have a chance to try it, PLEASE DO!

Bidding Good-Bye and the emotions associated with it

As we stand on one side of the security check at the airport, while Appa and Amma are on the other, putting their hand bags in the conveyor belt for scanning, I felt helpless. I was wondering what more could I do at this point. The truth that we all will have to go back to our own lives, stared at me. Just 10 minutes before, I knew this moment will come and I can tell both Appa-Amma and me were dreading this moment. We don't want to break out into tears and make it awkward and difficult for each other. But the emotions associated with the good-bye moments were overwhelming us.

As B and the kids hugged them one by one, I did not know what to do. May be because the culture of hugging is not in our family, even though I am accustomed to doing it with US friends, wasn't I still not able to hug my Appa-Amma?

It was weird and it felt sudden when Appa just moved on to the line of security check. He did not want to break down. I could see that. Amma waved ta-ta at the kids and us too from the line.

As we watched them complete the processes and as I hoped he would turn back and see that I am still watching them, I could see them walk into the airport. He did not realize that we are still watching them. They don't have cell phone, so the only thing I could do was to wait for his call when they are completely settled.

Throughout the car ride back home, B and I were talking and talking about how life would be for them when they go back. To continue with my own life, there are challenges awaiting me.

Finally the phone rang after I had gobbled up yummy Appams at our friends' place in our street. Appa and I caught up. He sounded energetic and we laughed about surviving the emotional moment with minimal tears. As we walked home from the friends', we saw an airplane up in the sky and my younger one goes, "Amma, I think Thatha and Paatti are in that airplane" and waved at it!

The quiet of the home is not new to us. Whenever B's parents left, the front room has stared at us with the void. It was the same this time. The kids tried to find something that Thatha and Paatti have forgotten by mistake.

I hope everything goes well for my parents as they step into the retired life and restart life in Bangalore.

Life's new routine

When kids had school, I was lost in a different kind of routine. Now it is different. No school for the boys. My parents are visiting us. So days are flying by so quickly. When you are in a routine bubble, it is so hard to break out of it. Each day has to be following the current routine and I cannot think of how I spent my days before this all started. I know when they go back, I will go back to the same old life - but it seems unthinkable now.

Timetable - we sleep late, but I don't like it when it is too late. I prefer to have the breakfast done by a certain time, then cook everyday for lunch and finish lunch by the same time everyday. Just because we don't have school does not have to mean that we do things out of schedule. That is just me and I stress myself around this a little bit.

Highlights of the summer so far are:

• I thought I would not be able to remember how to make Tamil oriented dishes since we cook mostly Mallu at my home. But I have been doing a good job so far with making good meals for my parents. My joy knew no bounds when my parents say they like what I made.

• I was amazed that I could go into this Tamil mode of cracking jokes and making parodies just because I have my Appa here. Some relations don't change over time and it is possible to be pick up from where we left. I am talking about being together in person - talking over phone is fun but different. To say the least, we do enjoy our conversations and a lot of time, listen to him talking whatever he chooses to.

• Making travel plans to take them to some places and making them happen has been fun.

• The best part is seeing the kids interact with them. When they enjoy and laugh at the pranks the younger one does and when they appreciate the older one for being the mature boy - I thank God for making this trip happen. Because I could not have showed them how my life now exactly is better than this.

• Nikhil is hooked to the 7 Little Words' app in the iPhone. I am happy he can connect with Thatha and learn the valuable lessons of vocabulary and English that I got from my Appa. When we three jointly work on each puzzle, I know in my heart I had always dreamt of this to happen if my Appa visits.

A.C is running constantly. It is so hot these days. But I like the way it has been going.

A Beautiful School Year

When I started Nithin at this new school, he cried one day - much less compared to the months of wailing in the car during drop off to previous school. Very soon, he made very close friends. What is more surprising is that the moms of these kids became real good friends. New friendships are interesting and fascinating. We enjoyed watching our kids play together and enjoy.

Pick up times during noon had an automatic chat session built in. We could not leave home with our own child without at least saying Bye to each other - even in case of hurry. All the kids in the school would leave, but our kids would play and play and we moms would chat and chat. Now I am not sure who was waiting for who? :-)

The kids learnt a lot during the school year. Socially, I could see Nithin blossom into a totally fine kid from the shy boy he was. It was truly a pleasure to see him open up with his pals. In the middle of the year, he used to cry if his close friends were absent from school. If they got picked up early, he has cried. But now, he seems to handle that much better. I am really thankful to his tiny friends for the role they played unknowingly in his social development.

Last Friday, the academic year ended. It was quite an emotional moment for me to see him walk into the stage with the graduate hat on. This whole year, whenever I picked him up in the noon, I have experienced the satisfaction of things working out the right way for him. When the boys giggled and ran around in the playground, my heart soared. I was never driven by the pressure of going to office after pick up. I let him have his fun time and then carried on with my mental ToDo list for the day.

Some afternoons, we headed straight to the restaurant where he wanted to have soup or Dosa. Some times we went to library. Most of the noons we relaxed sitting in our bed with the books he chose to read. Some we fought over Kumon while I yelled at him for not writing neatly. He would write one letter and run away from me and jump on the bed while I lose patience. I will really cherish the one academic year I spent with Nithin as a stay-at-home mom. Sometimes I stared at the clock which displays the date and time worrying about what lies ahead for me. I tickled him and cuddled with him and sometimes I was gloomy when he checked if I was sad.

The plan is to take care of the kids during summer. But I could not begin doing that without writing about the beautiful year that went by.

Mexico Times

Once I got this idea of all inclusive vacation in a resort, my mind was so determined about making it happen right away. Here are the reasons:

• I am still unemployed by choice (so far!), and I wanted to reap the benefits of not having to take a vacation to go on a family trip.
• My boys are not too small - so traveling with them should not be a nightmare anymore.
• The 9 year old and 5 year old have similar interests and get along well with each other regarding what they play and watch in TV. WHILE THIS LASTS, I wanted to make a memorable family vacation.
  

What started as an attempt to go with a bunch of friends' families, ended up as a family vacation. No regrets whatsoever!

All set with sunscreen and swimwear! On the day of departure, we were stuck in the Philly airport within the air plane for 3 hours - which was actually the duration of the flight itself. There is something with us and flights - we got stranded in the airport during our Disney trip and the connection flight would not take off due to mechanical issues. Anyway, when the flight finally landed in Mexico, I was more than thrilled.

Walking out of the airport, I was almost in tears because it felt like landing in India. The surroundings and the people all reminded me so much of the old Bangalore airport. For a moment, I could even picture my dad waiting there for me. That explains the teary eyed part, I guess.

Driving to the resort in the van arranged by the travel agent, don't laugh if I say it felt like
driving from Trivandrum airport to home. The weather, the coconut trees and the surroundings reminded me of the Shankumukham beach - all these came to memory.

As soon as we checked in to the room, we had decided to bid adieu to the sneakers and slipped on to flip-flops. We took it easy, had dinner and figured out where everything was in the resort.

The next morning, after breakfast, we headed to the beach. Pretty much every morning, we were at the beach until lunch time - when it got hot. The sea looked as blue as those pictures in the calendars. The sand was pristine and super clean. Nithin mostly focused on building sand castle. Nikhil helped him most of the time and also had his fun in the water. As days went by, my comfort level with the beach went up. Thanks to B, I ventured going the farthest into the ocean in my life.

One day, there was a sand castle competition. I motivated the boys to participate in it. B helped them a lot. I came up with the caption for the castle and we got a third prize of our team work called 'Templo Antiguo'. We were also called upon stage to receive the prize in the theater that evening.

One day, we went on a trip to Tulum to see ancient Mayan ruins. It got so hot so early in the day quite unexpectedly. The boys could not take the heat and would not let us listen to the tour guide's interesting talks that peacefully. After Tulum, we went to Xel Ha - the natural water park. B and kids ventured into snorkeling. I was not up for it, so I stayed in the land. Eventually Nithin was cranky and sleepy, so my not getting into water found its own meaning!

The dinners at restaurants within the resort were fancy. The only trouble was my being a vegetarian. They made some veggie stuff for me, but it is always a tension and I have go reminding them to make some.

It was funny to note that in Mexico, the Mexican food did not have sour cream as part of it. I had a tough time explaining what it is only to find out they don't use it that much. So the Mexican food we ate in U.S is what I expected, but it was not exactly the same. Thank God for the spicy salsas!

Overall, a trip for my lifetime. I will definitely cherish the memories of this trip always.