Sunday, July 31, 2011

Bidding Good-Bye and the emotions associated with it

As we stand on one side of the security check at the airport, while Appa and Amma are on the other, putting their hand bags in the conveyor belt for scanning, I felt helpless. I was wondering what more could I do at this point. The truth that we all will have to go back to our own lives, stared at me. Just 10 minutes before, I knew this moment will come and I can tell both Appa-Amma and me were dreading this moment. We don't want to break out into tears and make it awkward and difficult for each other. But the emotions associated with the good-bye moments were overwhelming us.

As B and the kids hugged them one by one, I did not know what to do. May be because the culture of hugging is not in our family, even though I am accustomed to doing it with US friends, wasn't I still not able to hug my Appa-Amma?

It was weird and it felt sudden when Appa just moved on to the line of security check. He did not want to break down. I could see that. Amma waved ta-ta at the kids and us too from the line.

As we watched them complete the processes and as I hoped he would turn back and see that I am still watching them, I could see them walk into the airport. He did not realize that we are still watching them. They don't have cell phone, so the only thing I could do was to wait for his call when they are completely settled.

Throughout the car ride back home, B and I were talking and talking about how life would be for them when they go back. To continue with my own life, there are challenges awaiting me.

Finally the phone rang after I had gobbled up yummy Appams at our friends' place in our street. Appa and I caught up. He sounded energetic and we laughed about surviving the emotional moment with minimal tears. As we walked home from the friends', we saw an airplane up in the sky and my younger one goes, "Amma, I think Thatha and Paatti are in that airplane" and waved at it!

The quiet of the home is not new to us. Whenever B's parents left, the front room has stared at us with the void. It was the same this time. The kids tried to find something that Thatha and Paatti have forgotten by mistake.

I hope everything goes well for my parents as they step into the retired life and restart life in Bangalore.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Life's new routine

When kids had school, I was lost in a different kind of routine. Now it is different. No school for the boys. My parents are visiting us. So days are flying by so quickly. When you are in a routine bubble, it is so hard to break out of it. Each day has to be following the current routine and I cannot think of how I spent my days before this all started. I know when they go back, I will go back to the same old life - but it seems unthinkable now.

Timetable - we sleep late, but I don't like it when it is too late. I prefer to have the breakfast done by a certain time, then cook everyday for lunch and finish lunch by the same time everyday. Just because we don't have school does not have to mean that we do things out of schedule. That is just me and I stress myself around this a little bit.

Highlights of the summer so far are:

  • I thought I would not be able to remember how to make Tamil oriented dishes since we cook mostly Mallu at my home. But I have been doing a good job so far with making good meals for my parents. My joy knew no bounds when my parents say they like what I made.

  • I was amazed that I could go into this Tamil mode of cracking jokes and making parodies just because I have my Appa here. Some relations don't change over time and it is possible to be pick up from where we left. I am talking about being together in person - talking over phone is fun but different. To say the least, we do enjoy our conversations and a lot of time, listen to him talking whatever he chooses to.

  • Making travel plans to take them to some places and making them happen has been fun.

  • The best part is seeing the kids interact with them. When they enjoy and laugh at the pranks the younger one does and when they appreciate the older one for being the mature boy - I thank God for making this trip happen. Because I could not have showed them how my life now exactly is better than this.

  • Nikhil is hooked to the 7 Little Words' app in the iPhone. I am happy he can connect with Thatha and learn the valuable lessons of vocabulary and English that I got from my Appa. When we three jointly work on each puzzle, I know in my heart I had always dreamt of this to happen if my Appa visits.

A.C is running constantly. It is so hot these days. But I like the way it has been going.