New year wishes are pouring in from all directions. People are posting in Facebook what a year 2020 was and how it changed everything.
I don't feel anything. It just feels like the end of this year came too soon. We had time off for the last week of the year and we took each day lazing around and doing home projects or chores. In the midst of all that, it seems like this year abruptly ended and everyone is so excited to welcome 2021. I am not ready yet.
All those messages of hope! I am an optimistic person for sure, but this seems too much. How different is January 1st going to be from Dec 31st? Not too drastically different! Yes, the vaccine is here and front end workers are getting it. I was not expecting this before the end of 2020 and I am not able to believe it and I am so happy for that! But I am not sure when we will get our vaccines being the common man here in US. And when will our parents get it in India?
The whole year flashes in front of my eye now - at least I have to pretend that it does! I am feeling pressured by all those posts on Facebook that I have been reading :)
The year started quietly with my hopes of bringing my parents when the weather gets warmer here in the US. Then came Covid in March. - just a few days before our wedding anniversary. We were all locked down - something no one ever imagined. Flights and airports were closed. We were scared to go to the grocery store. We wiped the things we got. People cooked delicacies and posted pictures of food. It was like a cooking competition! It inspired even me to look up dishes and try new recipes. That has never been a thing with me! I used to cook only my traditional dishes and never ever watched a recipe video.
On our anniversary, we got pizza and pasta for takeout - this seemed like a sin in itself.
Then things got better when weather got better. We stopped wiping the groceries. I walked with my neighbor and we shared our frustrations of being cooped up inside home with no outlet. We shared what we cooked that afternoon and which take out options sounded exciting. The ultimate luxury was getting food from outside.
I have never walked this much ever! Everyday I used to walk in the morning and evening. It was so addictive that I could not bear to be indoors when the sun was out in the morning. It helped me a lot mentally and physically!
We managed to go for a beach vacation and survived it!
My college-goer went back to college to try his hand at apartment life. I worried about him as much as I worried about our parents in India during the initial lockdown. We were constantly scared of Covid.
I have also never read these many articles on the internet. I was panicked and in a frenzy, reading every article that came my way about Covid.
I got tired of sitting in my room day and night. I woke up, worked from there, and slept in my room. When work ended, I came down to cook AGAIN! The vessels were never ending - I cannot complain as my boys and husband DO help a LOT. Laundry became totally my department. Folding clothes became a mundane routine thing I could do while watching TV.
I connected with so many people from my past. Talking to my friends and relatives during my walks with the new airpods was a blessing.
Some new Whatsapp groups were formed. It was like family and we shared day to day happenings. We traveled by road to meet friends.
I spoke to my father every single day almost. First time in my life, I did video chat on a regular basis. I drove him crazy when I was worried or panicked about them being exposed to Covid. We would talk about what movies he watched during the day in Youtube. Our Tamil jokes, connections to old memories all came into play in the conversations. I am grateful for every such chat which made me connected to him when hopes of meeting in person was close to non existent. I "whatsapped" my mom to keep her involved with what was happening with my life. I sent them both pictures of dishes I made.
I had to take time off during the year. There was no point conserving vacation for a trip outside the country. I met friends for lunch in outside restaurants and sometimes inside them. Pajama bottoms and a decent top was the attire for every day video call meetings. I dressed up when I got any chance. I clicked pictures whenever I could.
I am really happy and grateful for how the summer went by. The sun was enough to lift my spirits. I dreaded winter and it struck me exactly as I expected. Dark evenings that started at 4:30 and not being able to meet folks outdoors killed me. But I was glad that Nikhil came back home which added some color to our dreary winter days.
I am grateful to my friends in Bangalore who toiled to help sort out things in our home and we were able to rent it out finally. I am forever thankful to my cousin brother in India who guides me on what I should be doing next in the grand scheme of things.
Elections happened with a welcome change in leadership!
And here the year has ended. I am truly happy about meeting friends and connecting with folks via phone calls. These are folks who have not been in touch for decades. It was interesting to see how different people remember different bits and pieces of information of what happened years ago.
I don't want to say that 2020 has changed me forever for fear of sounding cliched. It was a totally different year and it drove us crazy and scared the hell out of us. Thank GOD that were are all still alive while throughout the year,we have heard stories of lost parents and great talents.
Let us hope for a 2021 which will be different from 2020. Let us hope for the fear to end. Lets hope for a year that would bring us back to normalcy. May we not forget the lessons we learned and may we continue to appreciate the little pleasures of life.
