When I parked the car and got out this Tuesday, I could see Nikhil waving at me from the window in 2nd floor -"How was your last day,Amma?", he screamed. As I entered the home, both the boys came right to the door step and hugged me tight. It was my last day of work before I become a SAHM by choice for sometime.
I have been contemplating this move since some months. Kind of tried to push me away from the decision, tried to chug along with the long commute, guilty feeling of not devoting time for kids with a tireless smiling face and the ad-hoc conditions of operations of work with the budding new product. Finally, I saw signs around me that said - JUST DO IT for your peace of mind. B supported it. Kids welcomed it. I took the step.
When I resigned, I worried about what will be the reactions of different people around me. I realized that even when I make decisions after a lot of thought, I am the kind who seeks approval from everyone for my actions. It is the way I was brought up - I cannot be totally careless about the 'opinions' of people. Close friends and family had seen me go through a tough time in coping with work and commute. They could understand me. My colleagues really opened up and they could see my point in my current stage of life. So I bid good-bye to some good friends and colleagues. I was lucky to have a manager who provided lot of options for me to stay back. I am grateful to have had him as my manager - or else I would have left a while ago. In spite of all that, my heart kept telling me to see a change in life.What I will miss most about this work place would be the PEOPLE again.
It is not a period - I would like to think of break as a semi - colon. The sentence will continue some time later.
As I look ahead, I realize I will get bored eventually, will get tired of screaming to the boys when they fight with each other. At that point, I will look into getting back on the groove, but for the moment, it feels like the right thing to do. I did enjoy working for the past 13 years. But now, I want to take a break - not having to worry about waking up early, beating the traffic, driving 45 min sounds like a welcome change. Being there for son 1 when he comes back from school. Being there for Son 2 before he goes to kindergarten next year and reading books to him. Not having to bother B about my work-woes. Cooking some nice meals without thinking of it as just a chore. Driving Son1 to activities. Helping MIL with cooking as long as she is here. All these sound appealing now.
I am leaving to India tomorrow to meet my dad on his 60th birthday. I am glad I am able to go.
It will be just myself in India for 3 weeks. The kids are here with B and his parents. As much as I am excited to have a fun trip and some nice times with my parents, friends and family, it pains to see Nikhil emotional. He surprised me by making a 'MISS YOU' art work with his 'haiku' on me. Seeing this, the younger one got the help of grandma and made a similar card for me. I am treated so special because they will see me only after 3 weeks. I am touched.
Will keep you all updated from India.
10 comments:
I think as long you find yourself to keep busy, you will enjoy this decision of yours. Weare a single income family and have decided that we will stay that way until both the kids are in elementary school. There is financial strain and less affordability of "Status" gadgets and shoestring budgets, but tone thing you will not have to skimp on is family time! Be proud of your brave decision and wear it on your sleeve!
-Sunil
Enjoy your three weeks in India and come back rejuvenated. :)
Am sure you will find your groove once you stay a while at home. Some people I know love it and some I know are itching to go back. If you do decide to go back, perhaps you can find something closer to home.
amma ill miss you a lot keep posting!!!!!!
amma ill miss you a lot keep posting!!!!
@scribbler - thanks for the encouraging words. Will keep your words in mind.
@Laksh - Thanks da..yes, looks like I have to give a chance and see how I feel after a while.
@Son - thanks kutta!
you know my thoughts on this, sorry i wasnt able to meet up before you left....like i said, i do salute you for your decision esp. because i am in the exact same position as you are and not so brave...enjoy the vacation in india...will get together once you get back, love lots, UL
what happened to my comment here???
said i missed you before you left, sorry i didnt get a chance to drag m yself away from work...you know how i feel about your decision...i think you are brave to take the plunge and i applaud your courage..wish i could be as brave
@UL - I saw your comment way back..comment moderation/publishing took a while. Talking to you the other was a precious moment - I felt happy I am not the only one feeling the way I am feeling. Hang in there - it will get better! Thanks for your words - once I took the plunge,it seems to be not a big deal!
Anamika_S, that is a momentous decision. Wish you and your family all the best. Coincidentally you are the second person that I know who made this decision in the last one month. Another friend made the jump to being a SAHM from IT recently. Wonder whether this trend has anything to do with the economy affecting our sub-conscious.LOL
@DiffDrummer - that is interesting. What a coincidence - that your friend made the same decision around the same time! Will catch you with you sometime over phone once I am back in US!
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