Monday, May 26, 2008

Parting tears

When I stood at the airport gate, watching my 1st Grader walk away holding the hands of his friend, I struggled hard to prevent tears from rolling down. After all, our friends who were standing next to us, were also parting with their son and they were holding up pretty good.

Nikhil is going to India for a summer vacation. Flying for the first time without us. Of course, our friend D was going to take care of both Nikhil and G throughout the flight. Two boys whose eyes are always glued to their Nintendo DS. We teased D a lot saying the boys will have to take care of you. It was all fun. We lectured a lot to Nikhil from time to time. Dont run away here and there. Always stay with uncle. Blah Blah. But that is all you could do, once you have made a decision to send him for a totally new experience - a vacation with grandparents in India.

I am really amazed at his courage. Did he realize that he wont be able to meet his parents and his brother for 2 months? Does he know that he cannot come and hug us when he wanted? I think he knows, but he may be in for a surprise , when some emotions might strike.

As we drove back from JFK, with all the lights sparking on the Verrazano bridge, my mind was flying down the memory lane.

The 13 days NTSE Scholarship camp was the first time I was staying away from home that long. I was in Thrissur and my parents were in Trivandrum. We were staying in the dorm rooms of a school in Thrissur. I wrote a long letter to my Appa which was loaded with tears and worries. I missed home so BADLY. My letter gave him a shock and made him feel helpless. His reply came telling me not to worry and to enjoy the experience - which was the intention of sending me, according to him. I was worried that I may not pass the scholarship exam and felt bad that I will be failing to fulfill his dreams. I was so relieved to hear that he was not so particular about that part at all.

I was reminded of the Trivandrum railway station where I waved Bye to Appa when he left to Bangalore for work. I was in college then and he had moved the job there. Everytime, I step out of the Railway Platform after the Island Express leaves, I would be in tears while I walk to my Kinetic Honda.

Parting tears and the pain in the throat that accompanies when I try to suppress them. Wonder if my son is old enough to feel the feelings I have felt..and if so, I just hope he learns to recognize them and express them.

5 comments:

SUBRA said...

Reading this brought back the days to memory with a lot of tears. I remember the day I sent you to Tiruchi and walked slowly (with tears) out of the Trivandrum station towards the horizon. And the day when you left for USA with your husband after marriage.

APPA

UL said...

oh dear, your post is so very touching...i am sure he will have tonnes of fun..i would love to do that as Meera grows older and able to take care of herself..you did the right thing and he will have the time of his life, and return back independent..keep us posted on his adventure, they do grow up so quick dont they?

Anonymous said...

Awww..!! Good for your little one, that all these going aways will create fond memories for him. My parents let us visit uncles and aunts, and grandparents during summer vacation, and I still recall those days fondly.

But personally speaking, I have never felt home sick staying away from home, be it hostel or at uncles's place... because wherever I stayed, it was home away from home!

anamika said...

@appa - glad u r the first one to comment on this one!

@ul - thanks UL..u know until recently I would not have approved of what I did..but I did it..and he is enjoying it apparently.

zigma_an - coming to think of it, yes, i too recall never missing home on vacations where I was with another family.

Bewildered said...

just reading that brought a lump in my throat!