Life's new routine

When kids had school, I was lost in a different kind of routine. Now it is different. No school for the boys. My parents are visiting us. So days are flying by so quickly. When you are in a routine bubble, it is so hard to break out of it. Each day has to be following the current routine and I cannot think of how I spent my days before this all started. I know when they go back, I will go back to the same old life - but it seems unthinkable now.

Timetable - we sleep late, but I don't like it when it is too late. I prefer to have the breakfast done by a certain time, then cook everyday for lunch and finish lunch by the same time everyday. Just because we don't have school does not have to mean that we do things out of schedule. That is just me and I stress myself around this a little bit.

Highlights of the summer so far are:

• I thought I would not be able to remember how to make Tamil oriented dishes since we cook mostly Mallu at my home. But I have been doing a good job so far with making good meals for my parents. My joy knew no bounds when my parents say they like what I made.

• I was amazed that I could go into this Tamil mode of cracking jokes and making parodies just because I have my Appa here. Some relations don't change over time and it is possible to be pick up from where we left. I am talking about being together in person - talking over phone is fun but different. To say the least, we do enjoy our conversations and a lot of time, listen to him talking whatever he chooses to.

• Making travel plans to take them to some places and making them happen has been fun.

• The best part is seeing the kids interact with them. When they enjoy and laugh at the pranks the younger one does and when they appreciate the older one for being the mature boy - I thank God for making this trip happen. Because I could not have showed them how my life now exactly is better than this.

• Nikhil is hooked to the 7 Little Words' app in the iPhone. I am happy he can connect with Thatha and learn the valuable lessons of vocabulary and English that I got from my Appa. When we three jointly work on each puzzle, I know in my heart I had always dreamt of this to happen if my Appa visits.

A.C is running constantly. It is so hot these days. But I like the way it has been going.

A Beautiful School Year

When I started Nithin at this new school, he cried one day - much less compared to the months of wailing in the car during drop off to previous school. Very soon, he made very close friends. What is more surprising is that the moms of these kids became real good friends. New friendships are interesting and fascinating. We enjoyed watching our kids play together and enjoy.

Pick up times during noon had an automatic chat session built in. We could not leave home with our own child without at least saying Bye to each other - even in case of hurry. All the kids in the school would leave, but our kids would play and play and we moms would chat and chat. Now I am not sure who was waiting for who? :-)

The kids learnt a lot during the school year. Socially, I could see Nithin blossom into a totally fine kid from the shy boy he was. It was truly a pleasure to see him open up with his pals. In the middle of the year, he used to cry if his close friends were absent from school. If they got picked up early, he has cried. But now, he seems to handle that much better. I am really thankful to his tiny friends for the role they played unknowingly in his social development.

Last Friday, the academic year ended. It was quite an emotional moment for me to see him walk into the stage with the graduate hat on. This whole year, whenever I picked him up in the noon, I have experienced the satisfaction of things working out the right way for him. When the boys giggled and ran around in the playground, my heart soared. I was never driven by the pressure of going to office after pick up. I let him have his fun time and then carried on with my mental ToDo list for the day.

Some afternoons, we headed straight to the restaurant where he wanted to have soup or Dosa. Some times we went to library. Most of the noons we relaxed sitting in our bed with the books he chose to read. Some we fought over Kumon while I yelled at him for not writing neatly. He would write one letter and run away from me and jump on the bed while I lose patience. I will really cherish the one academic year I spent with Nithin as a stay-at-home mom. Sometimes I stared at the clock which displays the date and time worrying about what lies ahead for me. I tickled him and cuddled with him and sometimes I was gloomy when he checked if I was sad.

The plan is to take care of the kids during summer. But I could not begin doing that without writing about the beautiful year that went by.

Mexico Times

Once I got this idea of all inclusive vacation in a resort, my mind was so determined about making it happen right away. Here are the reasons:

• I am still unemployed by choice (so far!), and I wanted to reap the benefits of not having to take a vacation to go on a family trip.
• My boys are not too small - so traveling with them should not be a nightmare anymore.
• The 9 year old and 5 year old have similar interests and get along well with each other regarding what they play and watch in TV. WHILE THIS LASTS, I wanted to make a memorable family vacation.
  

What started as an attempt to go with a bunch of friends' families, ended up as a family vacation. No regrets whatsoever!

All set with sunscreen and swimwear! On the day of departure, we were stuck in the Philly airport within the air plane for 3 hours - which was actually the duration of the flight itself. There is something with us and flights - we got stranded in the airport during our Disney trip and the connection flight would not take off due to mechanical issues. Anyway, when the flight finally landed in Mexico, I was more than thrilled.

Walking out of the airport, I was almost in tears because it felt like landing in India. The surroundings and the people all reminded me so much of the old Bangalore airport. For a moment, I could even picture my dad waiting there for me. That explains the teary eyed part, I guess.

Driving to the resort in the van arranged by the travel agent, don't laugh if I say it felt like
driving from Trivandrum airport to home. The weather, the coconut trees and the surroundings reminded me of the Shankumukham beach - all these came to memory.

As soon as we checked in to the room, we had decided to bid adieu to the sneakers and slipped on to flip-flops. We took it easy, had dinner and figured out where everything was in the resort.

The next morning, after breakfast, we headed to the beach. Pretty much every morning, we were at the beach until lunch time - when it got hot. The sea looked as blue as those pictures in the calendars. The sand was pristine and super clean. Nithin mostly focused on building sand castle. Nikhil helped him most of the time and also had his fun in the water. As days went by, my comfort level with the beach went up. Thanks to B, I ventured going the farthest into the ocean in my life.

One day, there was a sand castle competition. I motivated the boys to participate in it. B helped them a lot. I came up with the caption for the castle and we got a third prize of our team work called 'Templo Antiguo'. We were also called upon stage to receive the prize in the theater that evening.

One day, we went on a trip to Tulum to see ancient Mayan ruins. It got so hot so early in the day quite unexpectedly. The boys could not take the heat and would not let us listen to the tour guide's interesting talks that peacefully. After Tulum, we went to Xel Ha - the natural water park. B and kids ventured into snorkeling. I was not up for it, so I stayed in the land. Eventually Nithin was cranky and sleepy, so my not getting into water found its own meaning!

The dinners at restaurants within the resort were fancy. The only trouble was my being a vegetarian. They made some veggie stuff for me, but it is always a tension and I have go reminding them to make some.

It was funny to note that in Mexico, the Mexican food did not have sour cream as part of it. I had a tough time explaining what it is only to find out they don't use it that much. So the Mexican food we ate in U.S is what I expected, but it was not exactly the same. Thank God for the spicy salsas!

Overall, a trip for my lifetime. I will definitely cherish the memories of this trip always.

On raising the younger one

Not to be mean towards the older kid, but with the younger one - there is a lot of 'first-time' things which makes it interesting. It is too gratifying to see the younger one go through different phases and get exposed to new things. But with the older one, those phases are over and I have to work harder than ever before to come up with such new things.

For example, during this school year, Nithin started in a new school. He cried a lot in the old school, but I thought that is the only choice. Now in this school, may be due to his age or sheer luck, he has found 2 best friends. Every time I go park the car for pick up , seeing him play in the school playground with them happily, I thank God for bringing him where he is now. It looks as though I was forcing him to adjust with his fate in the older school and that he is now truly happy where he is. This friendship will have to come to an end when this school year ends for all practical purposes. We truly owe the confidence boost and sense of feeling at home with this school to the friendships he has built.

Each day is interesting to see the things he speaks now - the new words he learns from school or his big bro'. The first time for many things - new friendships, play dates, first swimming lesson, first Kumon class, first skiing lesson and first Ice Skating lesson. It is a challenge to get him started with anything new and it is truly satisfying to see him get over that initial stumbling block and flow freely with the routine.

I don't know how to put this into words - but isn't this easy to achieve compared to dealing with the older kid where we have already finished all these milestones? Teaching the 5 year old ABCs and getting satisfaction when he is able to read a page in an easy book is the EASY way to get parenting satisfaction I feel. And in every step with your previous experience, you already know what to expect in the next step and you are mentally prepared for it.

Another point is that, with the younger however little they do, we are thrilled and satisfied because it for God's sake - just their first time! Shouldn't we have a celebration that he went into the class without crying? He stayed without us near him for 2 hours! And for his age, this itself is a big deal! The level of expectation from the younger is very less and so is easily achievable for him.

But with the older one - it is not easy anymore. You have to work harder to maintain what you have built and you have to put extra effort to find NEW things for him to do! To challenge him further is not as easy as it is teach the younger one ABCs!

Playdates and more fun

John Lennon said: "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

I would like to rephrase it to say: Life is what happens to you while you're taking kids to birthday parties and play dates.

What an eventful week that was!

Tuesday was B and my 11th wedding anniversary. I scheduled our annual physical appointment with our physician that day, so we both can go together to the doctor and B will take off also. I like to flow with the habits enforced by the health care culture here in the U.S. So if anyone of you have been skipping the annual meeting with doctor - here is a reminder from my side. Please go!

We cut a chocolate cheesecake (I love cheesecake and Nikhil loves chocolate, so he picked a chocolate cheesecake from the grocery store!) in the morning. Kids were excited because only on these occasions they get so much sugar as part of breakfast!

It was a week full of play dates for Nithin. Back when Nikhil was small, I should confess I never knew the concept of play dates. I never consciously arranged one for him so that he could develop social skills. I was too busy for them and I was not aware too. Now Nithin is having so many play dates with compatible friends. It is fun time for the kids. It is also chat time for the moms. The weather was so beautiful and we spent some time outside in the park soaking in the sun. Make hay while the sun shines!

Yesterday, we bid farewell to another family who are moving to India for good. The potluck dinner was delicious and too much fun with Antaksari and Dumb Charades. Another set of families where the kids played well and adults had some game time. I am glad to be where I live.

Weekend marked B taking Nikhil to soccer game while I took Nithin to a fun birthday party. It is a relief to see him not shying away from people and taking part in fun activities with other kids. It was again moms' talk time - a different set of girls this time. It was a week filled with a lot social interactions and laughter and fun.

Heritage Night

In Nikhil's school every year, there is a multi-cultural evening called Heritage Night. Since we have been with the school for 4 years now, we knew what to expect. There is a big crowd of Indians who dress up in Indian clothing. But it was more colorful that what I had expected.

For the past one month, volunteers from our development had coached the kids to do a traditional Gujarati dance. That was one more thing to look forward to. It is always exciting for every mom/dad to watch their kid perform and there were many many parents who went through similar feelings that night.

I had volunteered to help man the India booth. There were so many yummy things people cooked and brought for sampling. People walked around from booth to booth sampling foods of different countries. India booth had delicious sevai upma, besan halwa, fryums, banana chips and gulab jamun which we all digged in along with serving the visitors politely :-)

"Do you want your name written in Hindi in a bookmark?"

Right at the booth, I landed the job of writing the names of visitors (mostly only kid visitors) in Hindi, the National language of India in bookmarks. I enjoyed this task since it put my Hindi writing skills to test. Of course, writing Indian names was easy - but I did have a real challenge with writing American names in Hindi. I managed to survive with Andrew and Zoe! But almost every kid and parents were excited when I wrote the kid's name in Hindi and handed over the bookmark to them. Some even got it written for other kids at home!

My initial reaction before going to the event was "Been there, done that!" But over there I met many folks who are attending this for the first time and seeing them I remembered my excitement of the facing the unknown years back- "when is the fashion parade", "what time is our kids dance"! I realized that the Heritage Night this time takes a new meaning for them. It is these newcomers who keep the spirit going every year!

Hurray!

For the past one week, me and my Appa were laboring to submit a Passport renewal application for him using the new website called Passport Seva Portal. He could not successfully get past the login screen at his end in India, so he officially appointed me his travel agent in US. After getting through the creation of application and uploading the documents, we were shocked to note that the Normal appointment at the passport office is too far away for our needs. We needed to get an express appointment to proceed with our plans. Looks like these appointments open up a 8AM IST and they get filled up in no time and you had to wait the next day or another.

Since then my job was to book a Tatkal (meaning instantaneous) appointment - which was not an easy task. Every time I check for the availability of the Tatkal, all I got was "All Tatkal appointments have been booked, please try again later or another day". I kept trying at different times with despair.

Yesterday night, I tried at exact 8AM IST and I could not believe my eyes. I FINALLY saw the tatkal slots listed. My hands were literally shaking because I KNEW these will get filled up in no time. As I picked a slot and clicked "Book Appointment" keeping my fingers crossed, I saw the words "The slot you selected has been taken by another person. Please try again later". My heart sank! All the efforts went futile, I thought.

I knew LATER I may not even get this far. I could see that all the open slots that I had seen a minute earlier for the location I selected within Bangalore were GONE. I just tried another location in Bangalore and voila, I saw just ONE slot. I pounced on it and prayed to all Gods. My dad was doing the same thing from the one end - except that he can't even get as far as I can within the website. And I got the appointment!

I was never THIS happy in the recent past. Phew..! I called Appa to narrate this success story and now we can go ahead with the plans. Interesting experience - frustrating for the whole time but since I finally succeeded - now I have a smile! Little joys of life! Sense of satisfaction and accomplishment - isn't that all we want to take away from any experience!