Hakuna Matata

We rented the Lion King CD from the library the other day. Nithin has been playing it over and over in the car since then. He demands a song by number and it has to be replayed till eternity. After couple of reruns, you start hating that song.

But this song left me pondering and wishing for a state of "Hakuna Matata" - a state of no worries - it is a 'problem-free' philosophy.

A big change in me in the recent years is something I never used to do before. Worrying has become my hobby now. I find it so hard to control my mind when the thoughts spin and spin.

Looking from the outside world, I am in a comfortable state and there should be many blessings I have to count. I do recognize that and I am grateful for my life. But all said and done, I have become much more emotionally weak than even before. Different people have different worries. Mine has been related to job/work/career for sometime now. The layoff experience has left me petrified. Adjusting to new work life has been an uphill. It is getting better - I would compare it to the first few months with a new born baby. People say it gets better over months - but each day has to pass, it is a struggle every day - feeding and diapering and wondering why he/she cries. Some days are easy, some are crazy, but no matter what you have to live through this phase to get to a point where you can enjoy the baby. I think that is what I am going through now. Taking life one day at a time!

Breaking my Silence

Once you take a break from anything, it becomes harder to get back to it. When I started job hunting, I had multiple windows open with different job sites and technical sites in my computer.
Taking time off that task seemed like a sin then. I cut myself off from browsing blogs and commenting. It looked like something would happen soon. But nothing major happened.

Time flew. I started working towards PMP Certification. I am still working for that. So whether or not something happens in the job front, I have something to focus on.

A major milestone was taking Nithin consistently to his new preschool. He goes part-time and the transition to the new place was not easy. He cried and protested in the mornings when he knew he had to go to school. It has gotten much better now. The first time, he spotted a classmate from the new school in a gathering, increased references of the teacher in his talks and now, the stories and names of his classmates - it was a tough journey, but we are getting there! Every time he cried, I told myself not to give up or give in to his tears. Kind of feels cruel, isn't it! But I believed firmly that if I give in (now that I have a choice of keeping him home if he cried too much!), it only becomes harder for him the next day. So far, I think he is making good progress with the adjustment.

He seems to be going through a radical change - all of a sudden he is becoming a social butterfly. Wonder what happened - but that is a welcome change. Non-stop chattering!All his dialogues amaze all of us.

Another grand milestone was B's post-graduation. Yay! I bet having a family with two kids and pursing a part time Masters was not easy. He DID it and I am proud of him. We went for the graduation ceremony last week and I edited a post about it in my mind, but never typed it.B's parents, kids, B and I went for a dinner right after the ceremony. It was a fun evening.

Now that I broke the silence, I think it will be easy for me to talk further. Thanks to all those who checked with me via emails or comments to see how I am doing. Promise to be more regular!

Bye-Bye Pittsburgh!

My previous post was so right in context. Our close friend/classmate S and family are moving from Pittsburgh to West Coast for good. Closing of his office here led him to look for a new job and he got a pretty good offer in the West Coast. He was the only classmate B and I have in the whole of Pennsylvania! So far, we three belonged to the same state even though S is 5 hours away.

So, last weekend, our family visited them before they move away. It brought back memories of driving in Turn Pike for hours like this before. We have driven there 5 or 6 times in the past years - with common friends and with my parents. This was the first time we were going with B's parents.

We had fun visiting the Children's Museum of Pittsburgh. The kids can easily spend a whole day there. There were activities for painting/coloring/pressing paint into paper. There was Workshop garage for kids. There were couple of slides and some water play area with rain coats/water shoes on-site. It was real fun to watch our kids enjoy. Parents were taken on a separate guided tour by S. So they got to see the downtown and Station Square and Mount Washington.

Overall, the trip was short and sweet. We saw the 3 year olds (my son and their daughter) talking and communicating with each other. I did learn a tip or two on how to groom a home for sale and how to keep it well decorated and clean for showing! We were back home Sunday afternoon and rested well to get ready for the upcoming week. Good luck with the new phase of life, my friends!

From our point too, it is bye-bye time to Pittsburgh - now there is not enough reason to drive all the way!

Present and Future

Quick synopsis on my life.

B is back from Kuwait. One week flew by since he came back. Cant tell in words how much of a relief it is resigning from the single mom role. Best part is not having to worry about putting the trash can out and getting Nithin brushed.

Last Monday, B's bro's sedation was stopped and he opened his eyes and saw parents. Thank God. Progress is slow but steady. We get worried now and then, but today's news is that he asked for B. So I am thrilled he is asking questions and communicating. Keep praying!

Overcame the Sunday evening blues and Monday morning 'dark-blues' and we are on to the next week of our lives. As I got N & N ready and raced in the car to drop off at respective places, I wondered. OK. So far so good. On schedule. Dropped 1 and dropped 2 and hope their days are enjoyable. Reached work and got sucked into the rhythm.

But what about the long run? Each day is a tiny step towards future. Am I really moving my life in the direction that I would love to end up? What if, after some years, that drift by day after day, I realize that this is not where I wanted to be? Scary!