When I parked the car and got out this Tuesday, I could see Nikhil waving at me from the window in 2nd floor -"How was your last day,Amma?", he screamed. As I entered the home, both the boys came right to the door step and hugged me tight. It was my last day of work before I become a SAHM by choice for sometime.
I have been contemplating this move since some months. Kind of tried to push me away from the decision, tried to chug along with the long commute, guilty feeling of not devoting time for kids with a tireless smiling face and the ad-hoc conditions of operations of work with the budding new product. Finally, I saw signs around me that said - JUST DO IT for your peace of mind. B supported it. Kids welcomed it. I took the step.
When I resigned, I worried about what will be the reactions of different people around me. I realized that even when I make decisions after a lot of thought, I am the kind who seeks approval from everyone for my actions. It is the way I was brought up - I cannot be totally careless about the 'opinions' of people. Close friends and family had seen me go through a tough time in coping with work and commute. They could understand me. My colleagues really opened up and they could see my point in my current stage of life. So I bid good-bye to some good friends and colleagues. I was lucky to have a manager who provided lot of options for me to stay back. I am grateful to have had him as my manager - or else I would have left a while ago. In spite of all that, my heart kept telling me to see a change in life.What I will miss most about this work place would be the PEOPLE again.
It is not a period - I would like to think of break as a semi - colon. The sentence will continue some time later.
As I look ahead, I realize I will get bored eventually, will get tired of screaming to the boys when they fight with each other. At that point, I will look into getting back on the groove, but for the moment, it feels like the right thing to do. I did enjoy working for the past 13 years. But now, I want to take a break - not having to worry about waking up early, beating the traffic, driving 45 min sounds like a welcome change. Being there for son 1 when he comes back from school. Being there for Son 2 before he goes to kindergarten next year and reading books to him. Not having to bother B about my work-woes. Cooking some nice meals without thinking of it as just a chore. Driving Son1 to activities. Helping MIL with cooking as long as she is here. All these sound appealing now.
I am leaving to India tomorrow to meet my dad on his 60th birthday. I am glad I am able to go.
It will be just myself in India for 3 weeks. The kids are here with B and his parents. As much as I am excited to have a fun trip and some nice times with my parents, friends and family, it pains to see Nikhil emotional. He surprised me by making a 'MISS YOU' art work with his 'haiku' on me. Seeing this, the younger one got the help of grandma and made a similar card for me. I am treated so special because they will see me only after 3 weeks. I am touched.
Will keep you all updated from India.
Showing posts with label job. Show all posts
Showing posts with label job. Show all posts
Friday, August 13, 2010
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Lay Offs
Three years back, it used to be a threat when we heard people at work talked about 'layoffs' and 'reduction of head count'. Eh, summa solraanga, appidi ellam onnum nadakkathu..that was my reaction to it. When you hear of an upcoming event like that, rumors float around and you pray to God. "Oh God, please not me. And not now". And one day, it did happen. Luckily I was not affected, but witnessing close friends pack their things and leaving the company within the notice of an hour or so, my heart ached.
I have seen that people who got laid off just got new jobs and are doing good now. It probably turned out good for them, in one way or the other.
And I heard of a similar layoff in my old company recently. I feel sad hearing the names of people I know, some close friends and some acquaintances.
It reminds me of the day I received the termination letter from the Indian consulting company I worked for. I was 7 months pregnant and my contract with the client ended due to the client's budget issues. And quite coolly, the company who employed us and processed our H1 visas let me go. This was within 1 year of our moving to US and we never had an idea of terminations/lay offs in India. This was the time when recession was at its peak. The company knew that if they keep me they will have to pay for my maternity benefits etc. Hmm, I cried a lot for some days. That is probably the first kind of rejection I am getting from any institution.
Over time, I consoled myself as it was so obvious that they did it for financial reasons and not because of my inability to perform. It suited my situation to be home with my baby then. And I eventually started working an year later.
It must be a painful moment when you hear the news. And you are shocked. Most people did not have a clue that their name could be in the list. Some of them were rated as exceeding expectations for performance reviews and yet were laid off. It used to be with great pride that we would say the name of the company we work for. There was a bond that was formed over time. But all of that could come to an end quite unexpectedly. It seems that it is better not to get too attached to anything ever. It is only practical that you don't fool yourself with such ideas as my company and my team. For people like me, it is hard to remember not to get attached.
I have seen that people who got laid off just got new jobs and are doing good now. It probably turned out good for them, in one way or the other.
And I heard of a similar layoff in my old company recently. I feel sad hearing the names of people I know, some close friends and some acquaintances.
It reminds me of the day I received the termination letter from the Indian consulting company I worked for. I was 7 months pregnant and my contract with the client ended due to the client's budget issues. And quite coolly, the company who employed us and processed our H1 visas let me go. This was within 1 year of our moving to US and we never had an idea of terminations/lay offs in India. This was the time when recession was at its peak. The company knew that if they keep me they will have to pay for my maternity benefits etc. Hmm, I cried a lot for some days. That is probably the first kind of rejection I am getting from any institution.
Over time, I consoled myself as it was so obvious that they did it for financial reasons and not because of my inability to perform. It suited my situation to be home with my baby then. And I eventually started working an year later.
It must be a painful moment when you hear the news. And you are shocked. Most people did not have a clue that their name could be in the list. Some of them were rated as exceeding expectations for performance reviews and yet were laid off. It used to be with great pride that we would say the name of the company we work for. There was a bond that was formed over time. But all of that could come to an end quite unexpectedly. It seems that it is better not to get too attached to anything ever. It is only practical that you don't fool yourself with such ideas as my company and my team. For people like me, it is hard to remember not to get attached.
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