When I started Nithin at this new school, he cried one day - much less compared to the months of wailing in the car during drop off to previous school. Very soon, he made very close friends. What is more surprising is that the moms of these kids became real good friends. New friendships are interesting and fascinating. We enjoyed watching our kids play together and enjoy.
Pick up times during noon had an automatic chat session built in. We could not leave home with our own child without at least saying Bye to each other - even in case of hurry. All the kids in the school would leave, but our kids would play and play and we moms would chat and chat. Now I am not sure who was waiting for who? :-)
The kids learnt a lot during the school year. Socially, I could see Nithin blossom into a totally fine kid from the shy boy he was. It was truly a pleasure to see him open up with his pals. In the middle of the year, he used to cry if his close friends were absent from school. If they got picked up early, he has cried. But now, he seems to handle that much better. I am really thankful to his tiny friends for the role they played unknowingly in his social development.
Last Friday, the academic year ended. It was quite an emotional moment for me to see him walk into the stage with the graduate hat on. This whole year, whenever I picked him up in the noon, I have experienced the satisfaction of things working out the right way for him. When the boys giggled and ran around in the playground, my heart soared. I was never driven by the pressure of going to office after pick up. I let him have his fun time and then carried on with my mental ToDo list for the day.
Some afternoons, we headed straight to the restaurant where he wanted to have soup or Dosa. Some times we went to library. Most of the noons we relaxed sitting in our bed with the books he chose to read. Some we fought over Kumon while I yelled at him for not writing neatly. He would write one letter and run away from me and jump on the bed while I lose patience. I will really cherish the one academic year I spent with Nithin as a stay-at-home mom. Sometimes I stared at the clock which displays the date and time worrying about what lies ahead for me. I tickled him and cuddled with him and sometimes I was gloomy when he checked if I was sad.
The plan is to take care of the kids during summer. But I could not begin doing that without writing about the beautiful year that went by.
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Monday, June 6, 2011
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
SAHM Experience so far
Month 5 is on the run. The first month was spent in India. The next months flew by with gearing up with school and kids activities.
Phase I:
Initially, I was worried about what people's reaction would be on my decision. Every time I have to tell someone I would worry about what they are going to say. I would pray they say something of the sorts that would not call me dumb. To my own surprise, I got more positive reactions about making the decision than otherwise.
Taking a break from career was not looked down upon. Especially friends who knew me well, thought it was right to spend some time with kids - especially where they are young. Most did not have a doubt about me getting back into the career because of my work experience. Most would love to do that and could not afford to do that due to financial commitments.
Everyone trusted that being here in America, we had the freedom to take a break and not having to worry about coming back to the career world. We see so many who change their careers drastically. So nothing is impossible.
OK..the initial reactions were positive. Some cautioned me not to take too long a break. It could mean that you could risk your position in the job market. I agree with that.
Phase II: First few months at home
The questions were like this: "OK, how do you pass time each day?"
"What do you all day?"
"When are going back to work?"
Hmm..I was irked by some and smiled at some. With two kids, I am still planning each hour of my day. My day revolves around their calendar. Their drop off, pick up, activities and school projects. Especially with the younger one going to school for just 4 hours, pick up time arrives before I finish up my groceries or cooking and there I am rushing to pick him up. I took up more social responsibilities with planning and executing of events or participating more actively. So that keeps me busy too.
One things is true - I am EARLY for most appointments. I was early at the gym before the class trying to kill time on treadmill before the instructor arrived. I was an hour early for a doctor's appointment and went to their cafeteria and grabbed a coffee to kill time. I consciously try to be not late for anything and I am so obsessed with looking at the clock and reverse-planning everything based on a deadline.
Another FACT is that - you think that you will have the best vacation of your life when you take a career break. It is true that you get more time to do everything and you can pay more attention to details on most tasks. But down the lane, it is not a vacation - but you are caught in a routine-bubble now.
Remember, when you took a day off from work and how every minute was precious that day. Well, now everyday is at your hands - but still you cannot think OUT OF THE BOX that easily anymore. You have to consciously PUT EFFORT to REMIND yourself to DO THOSE THINGS you DREAMT OF DOING WHEN YOU WONT BE WORKING. Because otherwise you might just flow with the mechanical routine - it is not work related, but home related now.
Phase III: With my in laws leaving back to India, this is my next phase. I am all by myself with the kids and B. The first two days were awfully quiet and cadaverous at home. (Confession: Cadaverous is a new word I learnt helping out with my son's school project. It means: deathly, pale). I am slowly getting used to it.
Kids like me this way - less stressed and relaxed. Once in a while, a worry creeps up in the back of the mind. When should I start looking for a job? Is it too late already? I tell myself I still have something more to achieve from this conscious break. And I go on!
Too long a post, eh? When you guys said "I do", you did not know what you were getting into!
Chuckle!
Phase I:
Initially, I was worried about what people's reaction would be on my decision. Every time I have to tell someone I would worry about what they are going to say. I would pray they say something of the sorts that would not call me dumb. To my own surprise, I got more positive reactions about making the decision than otherwise.
Taking a break from career was not looked down upon. Especially friends who knew me well, thought it was right to spend some time with kids - especially where they are young. Most did not have a doubt about me getting back into the career because of my work experience. Most would love to do that and could not afford to do that due to financial commitments.
Everyone trusted that being here in America, we had the freedom to take a break and not having to worry about coming back to the career world. We see so many who change their careers drastically. So nothing is impossible.
OK..the initial reactions were positive. Some cautioned me not to take too long a break. It could mean that you could risk your position in the job market. I agree with that.
Phase II: First few months at home
The questions were like this: "OK, how do you pass time each day?"
"What do you all day?"
"When are going back to work?"
Hmm..I was irked by some and smiled at some. With two kids, I am still planning each hour of my day. My day revolves around their calendar. Their drop off, pick up, activities and school projects. Especially with the younger one going to school for just 4 hours, pick up time arrives before I finish up my groceries or cooking and there I am rushing to pick him up. I took up more social responsibilities with planning and executing of events or participating more actively. So that keeps me busy too.
One things is true - I am EARLY for most appointments. I was early at the gym before the class trying to kill time on treadmill before the instructor arrived. I was an hour early for a doctor's appointment and went to their cafeteria and grabbed a coffee to kill time. I consciously try to be not late for anything and I am so obsessed with looking at the clock and reverse-planning everything based on a deadline.
Another FACT is that - you think that you will have the best vacation of your life when you take a career break. It is true that you get more time to do everything and you can pay more attention to details on most tasks. But down the lane, it is not a vacation - but you are caught in a routine-bubble now.
Remember, when you took a day off from work and how every minute was precious that day. Well, now everyday is at your hands - but still you cannot think OUT OF THE BOX that easily anymore. You have to consciously PUT EFFORT to REMIND yourself to DO THOSE THINGS you DREAMT OF DOING WHEN YOU WONT BE WORKING. Because otherwise you might just flow with the mechanical routine - it is not work related, but home related now.
Phase III: With my in laws leaving back to India, this is my next phase. I am all by myself with the kids and B. The first two days were awfully quiet and cadaverous at home. (Confession: Cadaverous is a new word I learnt helping out with my son's school project. It means: deathly, pale). I am slowly getting used to it.
Kids like me this way - less stressed and relaxed. Once in a while, a worry creeps up in the back of the mind. When should I start looking for a job? Is it too late already? I tell myself I still have something more to achieve from this conscious break. And I go on!
Too long a post, eh? When you guys said "I do", you did not know what you were getting into!
Chuckle!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Initial SAHM Days
The first week I came back from India I slept - napped with Nithin in the afternoon while the older one went to school. Yet again, sleeping in the night was not a problem for me :-). After 3 or 4 days of marathon sleeping, I finally felt healed physically from all the running around I did in India. I would always cherish the vacation in India - for it was my own time, my own decisions pretty much about what to do where I did not have to worry about kids' health or anything. Seeing my Appa happy to have me around for hsi 60th birthday, meeting my relatives who have known me since my birth, catching up with my old friends with whom I share a unique relation - was all so precious. Knowing that my kids are in the best hands here in IS, I could relax and enjoy the most in India.
Back is US, I checked out a simple Montessori school for Nithin. It is a half day program with lesser number of kids and more emphasis on academics for the time he is in school. He cried the first day since he has been home all summer and he was not going back to the old school. I too wondered if I am doing the right thing. But he warmed up quite sooner than he did for the first school.
Now my whole day revolves around the boys' school schedule and after school activities. With parents in law here, I have not seen the loneliness which probably is awaiting me soon. I am mentally relaxed and free and am able to focus on Nithin without my thoughts wandering off elsewhere (work pressure, commute etc). The initial days of SAH- Motherhood seem to be going well. There are moments of laughter, cuddling and tickling with Nithin. Sitting with Nikhil doing his school work and Kumon, we did accomplish our mini-goals.
Two days ago, was Nithin's 5th birthday. I knew how much he would love to have his close friends whom he has not met in a while. I wanted him to have the celebration right on the day he was born. Thankfully, even with my last minute notice, the boys' parents were able to bring them. We had a simple party with a craft activity and Pinata. Ben 10 cake was what he asked for.
The arrangements for the party kept me quite busy for some days.
Will keep you updated.
Back is US, I checked out a simple Montessori school for Nithin. It is a half day program with lesser number of kids and more emphasis on academics for the time he is in school. He cried the first day since he has been home all summer and he was not going back to the old school. I too wondered if I am doing the right thing. But he warmed up quite sooner than he did for the first school.
Now my whole day revolves around the boys' school schedule and after school activities. With parents in law here, I have not seen the loneliness which probably is awaiting me soon. I am mentally relaxed and free and am able to focus on Nithin without my thoughts wandering off elsewhere (work pressure, commute etc). The initial days of SAH- Motherhood seem to be going well. There are moments of laughter, cuddling and tickling with Nithin. Sitting with Nikhil doing his school work and Kumon, we did accomplish our mini-goals.
Two days ago, was Nithin's 5th birthday. I knew how much he would love to have his close friends whom he has not met in a while. I wanted him to have the celebration right on the day he was born. Thankfully, even with my last minute notice, the boys' parents were able to bring them. We had a simple party with a craft activity and Pinata. Ben 10 cake was what he asked for.
The arrangements for the party kept me quite busy for some days.
Will keep you updated.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Come September!
Monday night was filled with enthusiasm and excitement getting ready for school. Nikhil packed his new backpack with school supplies. We realized he had to bring 3 items to symbolize things he did during summer for a special show n tell. We packed them and he was all excited. Nithin wanted to go to school also.
Tuesday morning, the bus stop was filled with kids and parents. Lot of new kindergarteners from our bus stop. Moms and dad with cameras. Lot of excitement. New K moms followed the bus to school. I remembered the anxiety we had when we went through that stage. The first time parting with Nikhil and wondering how to be reassured that he will be fine in that totally new environment? How will he know which bus to get on back from school? Will he eat lunch "properly"? Etc Etc.
They do fine, I guess. They adapt very quickly. Anyhow, all parents live through this excitement and anxiety on how their kids will survive in the new environment. I am past that stage for Nikhil, so I smiled and came back home after he got on to the bus.
However, I could feel so much love for him within me and I could sense the urge in me to give my life for him (don't know what that means really) , to make him a better PERSON in all ways. Make him a lovable, caring person like his dad (something for you dad!).
Hey, Hey,I guess the emotion in the air made me emotional too. Good luck, my second grader!
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