Morning goes by making breakfast and making sure kids eat. Day goes by driving to work, work and driving back home. Evening time flies by with dinner and homework and Kumon with Nikhil. In between, there are tiny snippets of fun time with Nithin's pranks and him surprising us with newly learnt words (yesterday he said, correction - a term we use a lot with Nikhil's Kumon work and 'spelling test' pointing to Nikhil's weekly spelling sheet.). If there are more snippets of free time, loading/unloading dishwasher or folding laundry clothes eats them up.
I have been longing to do something for myself - I think of watching a very good movie! I think of picking up my old movie song jot down book and sing aloud! I think of picking up 'Oru Deshathinte Katha' - the Malayalam novel I brought from India and read it. I think of uploading those pictures which friends have been asking for, forever. I think of giving the elliptical a workout! Before I know, my mind wanders into the TODO list again, deviating from the quest for fun to the satisfaction of getting things done. It is always a battle between productive work and relaxation - when you go for relaxation, work piles up and stares at you - 'How could you..?'
And there at bed time, kids want me to lie down with them. Nikhil says it in words and Nithin too, in his own way and his cries. So here I lie down with both kids hugging me from both sides (should confess I love that!) - there is another battle going on at that point. My mind is fully awake and wants to do the things I listed above. My body weakens with each moment. I start yawning in a minute. We have some serious talks about life - Nikhil and me. He shares a secret or two occasionally. And soon he says, 'I want to sleep. No more talking'.
He is fast asleep - while Nithin takes some more time. Each minute in the bed weakens my determination to get up! After all, I am doing B a great favor by putting the kids to bed so he can study peacefully! And every night, I pass one moment where I know both the kids are now asleep, and I am slowly sinking into sleep. I know that if I get up that moment, I can probably enjoy some quiet time with my books/TV. I remember thinking of all this and I am already zzzzz..!
So, what you see in the picture is what I want now!
Tell me what is it that you like to do - to get that feeling that you took care of your mind?
