Some quotes I enjoyed:
- If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
- Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
- I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?
- I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
