Second Day in Chennai

I woke up at 4.30 but continued to lie down for some and finally woke up. I was tempted to dial B's number in my Appa's mobile. After chatting with my talkative son 2 over phone, I switched on TV and browsed. I landed a program with randon Tamil songs being played. Sipping morning coffee and watching good old Tamil movie songs in India, I could not remember how long ago I would have enjoyed this combination. May be it was way back when I was single and living with my parents that I felt this exact feeling.

I went for a morning walk with my dad and 2 of his elder brothers to a surprisingly beautiful and decent walking trail around a lake in this Chennai suburb. When confronted by a cow on the way, I wished my boys were here with me then - they would be amused to see the cow blocking our way. Talking to my old uncles and walking with them was a nice moment.

Rest of the day flew by with usual chores of shopping and visits to stiching center and dry cleaning shops. At RMKV, we shopped for a festive occasion and I enjoyed looking at the colorful sarees and Indian dresses.

We ended the day by visiting the eldest uncle in the family and sought the blessings of his and his wife. Watching my dad talk and laugh aloud, sharing stories of weddings in the family, most of which I was part of when I was a school girl was all enjoyable. The pace is picking up. Jet lag is wearing off.

I was surprised to see a descriptive email from Nikhil 'dedicated to me'. Nice things do happen when there is a change in life.

Semicolon

When I parked the car and got out this Tuesday, I could see Nikhil waving at me from the window in 2nd floor -"How was your last day,Amma?", he screamed. As I entered the home, both the boys came right to the door step and hugged me tight. It was my last day of work before I become a SAHM by choice for sometime.

I have been contemplating this move since some months. Kind of tried to push me away from the decision, tried to chug along with the long commute, guilty feeling of not devoting time for kids with a tireless smiling face and the ad-hoc conditions of operations of work with the budding new product. Finally, I saw signs around me that said - JUST DO IT for your peace of mind. B supported it. Kids welcomed it. I took the step.

When I resigned, I worried about what will be the reactions of different people around me. I realized that even when I make decisions after a lot of thought, I am the kind who seeks approval from everyone for my actions. It is the way I was brought up - I cannot be totally careless about the 'opinions' of people. Close friends and family had seen me go through a tough time in coping with work and commute. They could understand me. My colleagues really opened up and they could see my point in my current stage of life. So I bid good-bye to some good friends and colleagues. I was lucky to have a manager who provided lot of options for me to stay back. I am grateful to have had him as my manager - or else I would have left a while ago. In spite of all that, my heart kept telling me to see a change in life.What I will miss most about this work place would be the PEOPLE again.

It is not a period - I would like to think of break as a semi - colon. The sentence will continue some time later.

As I look ahead, I realize I will get bored eventually, will get tired of screaming to the boys when they fight with each other. At that point, I will look into getting back on the groove, but for the moment, it feels like the right thing to do. I did enjoy working for the past 13 years. But now, I want to take a break - not having to worry about waking up early, beating the traffic, driving 45 min sounds like a welcome change. Being there for son 1 when he comes back from school. Being there for Son 2 before he goes to kindergarten next year and reading books to him. Not having to bother B about my work-woes. Cooking some nice meals without thinking of it as just a chore. Driving Son1 to activities. Helping MIL with cooking as long as she is here. All these sound appealing now.

I am leaving to India tomorrow to meet my dad on his 60th birthday. I am glad I am able to go.
It will be just myself in India for 3 weeks. The kids are here with B and his parents. As much as I am excited to have a fun trip and some nice times with my parents, friends and family, it pains to see Nikhil emotional. He surprised me by making a 'MISS YOU' art work with his 'haiku' on me. Seeing this, the younger one got the help of grandma and made a similar card for me. I am treated so special because they will see me only after 3 weeks. I am touched.

Will keep you all updated from India.

SIL, BIL, Pyar Vyar

What a month this has been! Starting from the day, B's older brother and family arrived from Kuwait, it was times of fun, music, travel and chats/debates after dinner. Each day went by visiting Niagara, D.C, Philly, New York and North Carolina.

I have spent only a day or so with them during our India trip - both our families were visiting India and we had our own hectic schedules. This is the first time we are spending quality time together. It was great to find out that I could be myself with SIL and BIL (sis in law and bro in law). They were good enough to laugh at my silly jokes tirelessly. It was nice to share girly talks with SIL - I did not grow up with a sister, so now I could see what I have missed.

Our kids enjoyed the times with 'cousin brother' and never asked for us. As we get ready to drop them to JFK and bid adieu, it surely feels like life has come to a standstill. What will we do next week? Going back to our normal routine life seems so boring and action-less now.

I know all good things have to come to an end. I am reminded of the lull in my parents' home after my relatives went back after a visit.The railway station platform, waving at cousins (or Appa when he was working in a different city), till the train takes them so far away that you don't know whether the hands you are looking at are theirs or not. Times when we said bye to folks, not knowing when we will meet again and which stage in our life we will be at that time. It is not railway platform, it is usually airports these days - but the feelings are the same.

Goodbye times are always hard - but I guess life must go on!

Nice weekend

It was quite an eventful weekend. Mini highlights are driving to places I have not been before - this is a big milestone for me. I hate driving - but this felt good when I reached the destination.

It was a milestone for B also. The cookbook project he has been part of as a photographer from the church came to a completion. The first copy of the book was released in a very nice simple function where people spoke their hearts our in complete sincerity. We all felt glad to be part of it.

Also, I took the courage to wear saree by myself to take part in the function. That is a milestone for me, since I dread 'wearing the saree' a lot.

Sunday evening, we set on 'drive to a random location' exercise. B looked up Hoopes Reservoir in google maps and we drove there. When we reached the place, the bridge was closed so we could not go further. But we stopped by a lake and took some pictures of the lake.

While driving back we realised that the date was June 13. That means, it was exactly 10 years since we landed the US of A. This called for a celebration and we went to TGI Fridays for dinner. Thoughts of coming work week peek in my mind and threaten me - it is Sunday blues for me. But I tell myself - enjoy this evening! Thus endeth the weekend!

May update

The month of May flew by fast. We engaged a painter to make the most of our home colorful. Picking colors was a tough task, but we managed to come out with flying colors (all pun intended). The idea was to get the home all painted before B's parents arrived the end of May. All the work did not get over before they arrived, but we managed to get our dining and breakfast room furniture replaced with new ones.

B's parents are here. Kids were excited to welcome them. They were excited to meet the kids after 8 months. Nithin's last day at school (day care) was last Friday. He will spend the summer with them at home. Nikhil's school year will be over within 2 weeks. The boys will keep the grandparents on their toes.

It has been a while since I committed to having guests for a dinner/lunch at home. Life has been busy with the long drive and work that I am scared to commit to anything. But yesterday's gathering was one thing we arranged a month in advance. Our close family friends (4 families) were invited to our home for lunch before some of the visiting moms from India go back. One family could not make it, but we did have some fun time. Saturday went by in cooking and the end of the day, I made sure we all get out for a drive to 'somewhere'.

Somewhere was picked by B. We went to Nolde State Park, an hour's drive from our home. It was nice and green - it was late evening - did not do much there - but it was good to explore some of those trails. Kids biked a little. We had some pizza in a near by restaurant and headed back home.

The next morning, was Nikhil's turn to give a small speech in the church about his experience with God/Prayer. This reminded me of all the elocutions I have taken part when I was small. I realised that it is not possible to make him do all that I would have done. He has to say what he feels like saying and pushing him to say what I want him to say won't really work. He did his job and he did good in being extempore.

Next month, we are awaiting B's elder brother and family over from Kuwait for a vacation here. The summer will fly quickly - it looks like!

First Piano Recital

Not me. My son 1. He started learning recently. Just thought of trying it out - this place was close to him and we heard a lot of kids we know are going there to learn music. The teacher was a 'sir' and Nikhil was excited. We bought small piano and he practices at home. His teacher said that he can perform in a concert. All his students are going to go up on the stage and play couple of songs. Nikhil wanted to be a part of it right away. These are two very simple songs and I am sure there are tons of kids who are playing piano in the concert today. It may not be a big deal - but since it is the first time my son is playing in a recital, we are excited. I am getting his clothes and the new black shoes ready. As soon as he comes from school, we have to dress him up and feed him and drive to this place where the concert is. He seems to be confident. of course I have no clue on how play any instrument. Let us see how it goes!

Last name and signature

Back in school, probably 7th grade or so, I practiced putting my signature. It was like I was preparing myself for a day when I will be asked to sign and oh my God, I have to work on it to be able to sign. Wherever there was free space in a piece of paper, I kept on signing and signing and practicing.

Back in India, there was no concept of last name in my family. We had an initial and that's it. So my signature also had my first name and initial.

After coming to US, I had to use last name everywhere starting from passport. But signature remained the same. Never had any issues there so far.

Recently a form I sent somewhere got rejected because they said my signature did not match my full name. My signature is what it is - why should it match my name! Grrr!

Whatever..I need the approval of the form..so I had to sign with my full name for the first time in my life. It felt weird.